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This kid walks into the pharmacy: "I've a hot date tonight, a sure thing, and my buddies said you could fix me up for it.""What do you want?" "Well, it's a hot date, man. A sure thing? You know..." "What do you want?" "I need some protection, alright??!?!" "What size?" "Size? I dunno... Whatever is considered average I guess." "That'll be $2.35 including tax." "Tacks?! Tacks?! I thought they stayed on by themselves!"